Lauren's full Journey cont...
I became a doula while I attended Johns Hopkins Nursing School. I went to my first birth and was hooked. However, I decided I did not want to work in labor and delivery as a nurse. I couldn’t imagine participating in all the non evidence-based interventions that are considered “the norm” that actually just hinder the biological process and lead to a cascade of interventions resulting, too many times, in an unnecessary c section.
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After graduating as a registered nurse in 2012 from Hopkins I worked as a pediatric emergency room and inpatient nurse in Baltimore and continued my doula work. My pediatric nursing work allowed me to work with many new mother and baby dyads and support breastfeeding. After two years of nursing, I decided I wanted to go back to become a midwife. As a doula, I was working with the really awesome George Washington University Hospital midwives and decided I wanted to grow up and be like them: badass midwives. I trained with them in DC in the hospital setting during midwifery school. After 9 months of that, my spirit was telling me hospital birth wasn’t for me (even though they actually practiced true midwifery care in the hospital setting, which is rare).
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I briefly moved to California and did some training attending birth center and home births. I returned to Maryland to do my final clinical rotation at a birth center where I integrated all I learned and realized midwifery was my soul's work. I loved birth center and home birth. The connections I made with the clients and being there to let the process unfold was amazing to witness. I had student loans to pay off, so my first midwife job was a hospital job for a busy practice in central Pennsylvania, despite knowing hospital practice wasn’t for me. I hated it, but I learned a lot and it definitely gave me the confidence and skills to move outside of the hospital setting.
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I went to work at a birth center in Delaware, which I loved. It solidified my skills and confidence in out of hospital midwifery. When I moved to Austin, I first worked at a birth center here for about six months. I was with a transfer patient one morning at the hospital when I discovered her baby was breech: she was completely dilated, the butt was right there. She and her baby were fine, but having a vaginal breech birth “wasn’t even an option.” The energy in the room amongst the nurses quickly shifted to fear as we waited for the physician to drive to the hospital to perform a c section. Meanwhile, I wanted to tell her just to get on her hands and knees and push as her baby was right there. If I had done that I’m sure I would’ve lost my job, which in hindsight would have been a blessing, but instead I remained silently disgusted with the system I was a participant of. I drove home crying for the loss of that woman’s vaginal delivery and for myself because again I felt like my soul was dying. That–combined with being told I had to covid-test patients upon arrival at the birth center, encourage the vaccine in pregnancy when there was absolutely no safety data, and endure the inappropriate remarks and threats I was receiving from my practice about refusing to be vaccinated–finally broke me.
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I didn’t want to be a part of birth like this any longer. And that’s how my homebirth journey began. One year later, I was gifted the opportunity to do my first vaginal breech with a first-time mom at home. It was a surprise breech. Her body worked beautifully and she birthed her baby at home with confidence surrounded by her loving family. She did not have to have a c section like so many women do because they “don’t have a choice or don’t realize they actually do have a choice.” She believed in herself, her body and my skills as a midwife.
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Each birth has led me to the path I’m on now and made me a passionate, medical freedom loving, bodily autonomy midwife. After years of working in the system and trying to make a difference, I became very frustrated and disillusioned with the system and the policies that were not serving the woman or truly making birth “safer.” I could not fix the system. It's a profit-based system based on policies that benefit the hospital and mitigate liability. It was not created to individualize care or value autonomy. It took a huge toll on me physically, mentally, and spiritually to be a part of it as I was not practicing in alignment with myself and my soul’s calling of being a midwife.
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Working as a home birth midwife I am now able to offer true choices to pregnant women and their families. Now I care for families the way I want: in their homes, giving them choices, and allowing them to make decisions that feel right to them! I believe birth is a sacred journey and I am just there to guide you through it and hold the sacred space for you and your family.